Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Break ups

A propos of nothing much, I've been considering classic clichéd break-up lines.

The number one has to be:
It's not you, it's me. It's just great, I can see no flaw in that one at all. You say it to a person and they know, they know exactly what you're about, without any further ado: even if they're a Big Brother contestant they get your drift. You probably deserve a glass of wine in the face for using it, of course. Apart from that being a dreadful waste of wine. And a cliché in itself.

I love you, but I'm not in love with you. That's just rubbish, isn't it? It's probably the most pants break-up cliché there is and makes me want to sing Howard Jones' "What is loooove anyway?" Which you wouldn't want. Not because it's a terrible song (although it's debatable, I suppose) but because I'm a terrible singer.

Let's just be friends. Yeah right. Not bloody likely, you sack of shit.

I just need some time to find myself. Ahem. Code for I'm a pretentious tosser and need more time with my mirror.

I think we need to see other people is code for I've already slept with all your friends and I'm working my way through your relatives, one(or more) of whom is threatening to tell you so I thought I'd get in there first.

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