Easily pleased

More items of mild amusement to me.

Item 1:
S was given a bath set for Xmas. The soaps are inscribed with the legend, "clean me".

A soap that needs cleaning?


Item 2:
In the supermarket they were selling "floating" shelf sets. There was a picture showing the finished shelf with some ornaments on it. On the packaging was the caveat, warning, rejoinder, statement of fact that the ornaments shown are not included with the very flatly, flat-packed shelf.

I need to move in with Wonko the Sane.


Item 3:
I have just spent quite some time staring at pictures and diagrams of guinea pig genitalia. In the next week or so I am going to have to stare at actual guinea pig genitalia in order to sex the beasts for separating and rehoming purposes (they can reproduce from four weeks). Some information I have garnered suggests that one should attempt to extrude guinea pig penises with one's fingers. These are not words I ever expected to put into a sentence.

I may need a new set of eyes ... and fingers. What fresh horrors can guinea pig ownership bring?