Fathead

Fathead was on tonight. So we watched and mocked throughout, laughing at his garagantuan head. There were lots of doubles used in the film according to the credits, and we suspect at least one, possibly conjoined twins, was just for his head.

Poor old, much maligned by me, Fathead.

Although it leads one to wonder, just how did he get his foot in the movie-making door? And now he's got it there, is it just that he produces and therefore stars in his own movies that keeps him there?

After all, he's got a massive head. The possibility of a sex scene with him in it must surely make the most undiscerning shudder the Sideshow Bob shudder? He doesn't appear to do his own martial arts either, anymore. Or if he did, he magically shrank for the violence and there was room in his coat for movement: he wore this long brown leather coat throughout, but it was button-poppingly tight around his mid-riff, (apart from when two or three of his stunt-men were within it together at the same time doing the fighting scenes). Oh, I am awful! And while acting ability may not be high on the list in the action picture genre, still... I mean, c'mon!

Poor old Fathead, I'm terribly mean.

Channel 5 didn't help with their lovely chop-chop scissors. I think they just went mad and clipped out wadges of film to fit their schedule, not caring what it did to the story (if there was one, but the occasional inexplicable reference to a small blonde girl and a hospital seemed to suggest there might have been some reason for Fathead's tromping around other than just that he was Fathead.) After all, they do tend to cut Gil Grissom and the like off mid-sentence to go to ad-break, so I daresay chopping out the entire plot* to a Fathead movie wouldn't be beyond their capability.


*If there was one.