End of year song
Buttercup Scout: Would you like to buy some cookies?
Man in Suit: Have you heard the good news?
Scooby-Doo: Yeah. There's cookies.
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:42 pm
I'm a curmudgeon at times. I get invited to things and instead of being grateful and excited, I think "Oh do I have to?"
Like Grandpa in 'Lost Boys':
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:50 am
Waffled by Mephitis at 8:36 pm
> easily amused, happy thought(s), oookayyy, parenting 0 comments
I think that when some of the fundamentals in our marriage were broken, we fixed things back together, until the vase is actually stronger than it was when we started.
But it's never going to have the lustre and bell-like tone of the original. It's lined with wire mesh and filled with glue. It's solid and something we built together. But criss-crossed with the scars.
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:49 pm
> getting creative, life - don't talk to me about life, music, youtube 1 comments
"It's a fucking [n-word] in an audi - must be a fucking robber."
I gave them a dagger of a look, but don't know if they noticed, the two racist little shitheads as they walked past laughing at their own [I presume they thought it] wit.
I don't really know how these people exist. They do not compute.
It depresses me when they were younger than me as well :(.
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:43 pm
These are the lessons that men taught me, personally or through my friends, when I was a young woman.
Waffled by Mephitis at 8:41 pm
Sometimes a person is genuinely sympathetic and you can feel that. Feel warmed by it and feel supported.
Sometimes it just doesn't ring true and you get the feeling the person is longing for you to perform your emotions for them. It's not something you can pull them on, cos they're being so nicey-nice - but it's not real, it's all fake and you can sense them kind of enjoying themselves at your expense. And better yet when they can slip in an oh-so innocent barb of any kind.
But here in my safe space, let me perform an emotion for you (the person I am thinking of) - fuck you, you schadenfreude idiot! Fuck your creepy faux-maternal manner and your snide 'sympathy'.
Ahh.
Waffled by Mephitis at 4:29 pm
I love this post at Skepchick.
The whole point is, to expect and insist on more. Not to accept the status quo, but to ask why not better?
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:35 pm
Waffled by Mephitis at 8:50 pm
It isn't really a good sign when you wake up feeling a bit ill and you feel happy and hopeful that you might be becoming sick enough to stay home from work.
Waffled by Mephitis at 6:58 am
> life - don't talk to me about life, music, youtube, yuk 0 comments
I am still with a chill of heart
I want to shrivel
withdraw into the warmth of numbness
into the calm of absence.
Don't bring me back to you
where I need to think and move and care.
I want to eat, to crunch, to taste,
to feel that comforting filling
soft, sweetness and texture
But I mustn't.
And I don't.
I wish I could sink inside
somewhere out of sight.
Here I am
with voices
and motion all around
and it shreds me thin.
I sit dulled and static
I long for sleep and silence,
the dissolve of self.
I will be better when
I force myself up
and get started
I know I will.
I always am.
So go on then.
So GO ON then.
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:07 pm
> 5-minute poetry, drivel, getting creative, life - don't talk to me about life 0 comments
Sometimes I wonder why people bring their problems to the internet and think they are foolish for doing so. But actually I have found it useful myself.
For quite a while, a male colleague had been gradually pushing my personal boundaries by touching me and saying flirty things. None of it was hugely awful but it was getting worse and it was distressing me daily. Telling my partner was a good way to vent but didn't motivate me to confront the problem.
It was only when I moaned online to friends that I came to the point of addressing the situation, because I didn't want to be the person who complains but does nothing. I got validation and advice, and I knew I had to act on it. I took my courage in my hands and told him to stop. And he has. No more unwanted surprise neck-rubs.
Sigh. If only I had realised it was that simple to stop him.
Not that he should have been doing those things in the first place.
Waffled by Mephitis at 12:44 pm
This is the first post I have ever written using my mobile. Am I a luddite, I wonder?
I want to write more. It is something I find rewarding. Also I told some friends about it in a moment of honesty and so I have reawakened my interest in it.
I re-read almost the whole blog, all seven years of it over the past couple of days and I feel that happy about it. It has some really interesting (to me) memory promptings and it is very much mine. My audience has always been primarily me.
(I hate my phone's interface. I had to come back to edit this on my laptop.)
Waffled by Mephitis at 12:20 pm
I come from a line of strong women. Domineering women. Admirable women. Flinty women.
My gran was one such. She was formidable, a typical Yorkshire horsewoman, hard as nails and stonily judgemental. (She had some flaws too!)
She combined this outspoken harshness with an oddly passive-aggressive treatment of us, her family, and an aching sweetness rarely glimpsed. My mum is like her sometimes - but deathly afraid of that side of her character.
Me too. Me too. That fear at least helps control it.
But what she had was grit. She was the kind of woman who would break her ribs hunting, but finish the day out nonetheless. I'm not getting into the ethics of fox-hunting, but believe me, she would have, and would never concede an inch on that (or anything).
Horses were her passion: she bred them and rode all her life. When she was 70 and could no longer ride, we bought her an exercise cart and she learnt to drive (she had driven cart-horses in her youth, but this was show-driving). Foolishly we had expected her just to potter with the pony, but she was soon competing locally.
She taught her daughters and grand-children to ride and to have grit.
I was taught that you never ever let go of the reins if you fall from your horse, no matter what. The only time I can remember her being truly proud of me was after I was dragged halfway up a gritted road, my pony having shied at a plastic bag. I should have been paying more attention obviously, but by god, I had grit. Literally. Embedded from knee to thigh.
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:37 am
So he should open up and talk to someone.
(A sign of a local builder)
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:49 pm
> easily amused, things probably amusing only to myself 0 comments
The dog sneezed, so I said "Bless you."
Daughter said "Why did you say that to the dog?!"
So I said "Gesundheit."
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:41 pm
> animals, forehead-slapping, happy thought(s), parenting, things probably amusing only to myself 0 comments
I listen to Pirate FM in the car. Their 'news' segments generally close with a sleb puff-piece masquerading as news.
One day this headline consisted of the information that Helen Flanagan has been told to reduce her tooth-brushing. At the end, the female radio presenter had a moment of clarity and ejaculated "Is this news?!" before they continued the show.
No, no, it's not.
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:24 am
> happy thought(s), slebs, things probably amusing only to myself, what I heard on the radio 0 comments
I was in a carpark, when I laughed aloud (I would say it was at an audio book I was listening to on my headphones, to seem less mad, but in truth - and I may as well be honest here on my very own blog as not - I was just laughing at a memory).
To my shock (not having realised anyone was around) a drunk guy on the other side of the wall shouted "What you laughing at?!" I froze, really worried. He continued angrily, "Come back here!"
I stayed still and was relieved to hear another man shout back something incomprehensible. He was wise enough to keep going rather than return as instructed. The drunk kept shouting for the other bloke to "come back here", and I stayed out of sight until they'd both departed.
Phew.
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:20 pm
> oops, yikes 1 comments
I have just finished listening to Germaine Greer's The Female Eunuch. It's kind of shocking really that I'd never read it, but there you jolly well go. She read it herself for the audio book, and was pretty expressive.
It was interesting to see how much still seems relevant, given it was first published in 1970. I need to think on it some more, but I'm just pleased with myself for having got around to it so I thought I'd post about it.
January
Green Mars / Kim Stanley Robinson
Blue Mars / Kim Stanley Robinson
The Changeling / AE van Vogt - re-read
Rage / Stephen King (Richard Bachmann) - re-read
February
Black Sheep / Georgette Heyer
March
The Fry Chronicles / Stephen Fry - audio book
The Liar / Stephen Fry - re-read
April
Mistakes were Made (but not by Me) / Carol Tavris & Elliot Aronson - audio book
Daggerspell / Katherine Kerr - re-read
Missing Pieces / Joy Fielding - re-read
The Ancestor's Tale / Richard Dawkins
May
Why be happy when you could be normal? / Jeannette Winterson - audio book
Driver / Taiye Selasi - short story on audio
The Family Portrait / Jon Ronson - 4 short stories on audio
June
Dreams from My Father / Barack Obama - audio book
Sleepyhead / Mark Billingham
The Female Eunuch / Germaine Greer - audio book
Waffled by Mephitis at 8:24 pm
I came across someone complaining that atheists are constantly trying to dissuade her from her faith and another poster replied "As a Christian, I get this all the time. I don't push my beliefs on anyone beyond asking if they were interested and felt they needed it they were welcome to attend my church."
I'm not sure if this reply was serious or a pisstake. Either way, tee and indeed hee.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't like full-on thrusting a Bible into your hand and extorting you to save your soul before it's too late - but it is opening a door to a particular kind of conversation. Perhaps all the response the person wants is a 'no thank you' if it is a negative. But you don't always get your preferred response, cos people aren't psychic robots out to please you. OK, an over-zealous atheist leaping forth with 'en garde' and 'let us duel to the death with our well-trodden arguments that we've both probably heard before' may well not be what you want, but you can't in good faith say you didn't start it.
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:42 pm
> atheism/religion, blogs/forums/t'internet, forehead-slapping, happy thought(s) 0 comments
So this is what anti-abortion laws look like.
A young woman in El Salvador, married with a toddler, is apparently seriously ill. She has lupus and a kidney malfunction, exacerbated by the fact she is pregnant... with a non-viable foetus. Several scans have shown conclusively that the foetus is anencephalic. The chances are high that she won't survive giving birth, and the child will inevitably die shortly after birth.
This is so 'pro'-life. Potentially kill a woman, widow her husband & leave a child motherless for the sake of what exactly?
#throws up#
Updated: The El Salvador Health Minister has stepped in to allow a caesarian section.
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:18 pm
> atheism/religion, current events, feminism, yuk 0 comments
Mopping the kitchen, I come across a dark mark and up the strength of my moppage. For some minutes, I continue scrubbing away, wondering how it resists my patented dilution of bleach unfazed.
Only to realise it's the shadow of a biro hanging partly off the table.
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:11 pm
I'm really enjoying audio books. I never expected I would get much from them, always having thought that I don't tend to remember/take in information by ear as effectively as by eye. But I've listened to three long books through my headphones now, and I'm finding it really good. None of it has been fiction so far: Stephen Fry's memoir The Fry Chronicles, Mistakes were Made (But not by me) an examination of cognitive dissonance and self-justification and Jeanette Winterson's autobiography Why be happy when you could be Normal?
I'm not sure I'll enjoy fiction in this form - but then, I was wrong about not liking audio books in the first place, so probably I should give it a go. These books have really made a big difference to my happiness, giving me something else to think about when drudgery beckons.
Waffled by Mephitis at 1:08 pm
"Dear Diary, I have decided to plead with the authorities to rub my belly, I think it will do me good in my current condition. I would like to receive two rubs exactly - a third one and I will bite the shit out of them as per protocol. Wish me luck."
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:28 am
Just when I think I know what's what, and that we're on the same page; she texts me asking me to join her for a party.
Why?
I don't understand. I don't think she likes me, what is she doing it for?
Maybe it's truly quantity not quality of guests.
I feel bad, cos I know life is hard right now for her. But I don't feel me accepting her invitation will make her celebration go better, more likely I'll be a downer. Huh?
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:00 pm
Voting yesterday in the local elections was depressing. There was a 'choice' of candidates, between LibDem, Tory, UKIP or independent. So: more of the same, more of the same, worse or pointless.
On the bright side, I like to think that if UKIP do get in that it could be because they're the only actual party party, so it could be just as a protest against the current incumbents? There's a lot of talk about UKIP supposedly representing issues that other parties don't ("are afraid") to deal with on the tv today, but I am hoping it's more kicking back against the assholes in charge.
But I fear that people are swallowing the xenophobic/anti-immigration bullshit we're being fed, instead of seeing* it's the powerful, rich & privileged in the finance world, playing with currency & property like gamblers, that screwed up the economies. Walking around the village lately has been depressing, with all the signs being UKIP or Conservative. On the way into town there was a huge UKIP sign, but someone evidently didn't approve and kicked it down once. It was put back up, but whoever knocked it down must have returned to write "NO!" in white paint over it. That cheered me up.
*Or perhaps they know but feel that's unchangeable?
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:09 am
The other day someone was complaining that she had received a private message advising her to change some wording in a blog-post, because it is a racially-charged epithet. She came onto a message board to whinge about this, because she couldn't see the potential offensiveness and was convinced it is an ok word to use. That word is 'chinky' and she was using it in the context of going to get take-away.
This sort of thing has always confused me, in that I couldn't see why it is so bloody important to someone to cry 'political correctness gorn mad' and be reluctant about changing the language they use, in the face of potentially upsetting people for no reason. I mean, is it really so hard to say "we went to get Chinese food" or "we got takeaway" instead? Does it harm you or cost you in any real way to put someone else's feelings ahead of the way you habitually speak?
Reading (or rather listening to) Mistakes Were Made (But not by Me) recently has given me a bit more insight into this resistance, which has always seemed so ridiculous and inexplicable to me. I guess there is a cost involved: a cost of admitting you might be wrong or harming someone - and that doesn't fit with the way you view yourself. Assuming this blogger is not a proud out-and-out racist (and would never think of herself as such, but rather has been a fish in a sea of unquestioned white privilege) then being called on using a word that she has perhaps never connected up the dots to being a racist one, sends her into uncomfortable cognitive dissonance. There are two obvious routes out of this horrid feeling - deny it's a racist term and/or protest that the other person is over-sensitive - or admit fault & re-think the way she uses language.
The knee-jerk reaction is to get angry and defensive and go with the former, rather than do the latter. Thus: everyone in her town uses that word, even the owners of the take-away use it about their own shop, she's not a racist, she's been using that takeaway for thirty years and considers the owners friends. So how could it possibly be racist? It cannot be a racist word, because that would mean she's been (inadvertently) racist. And she's not a racist.
I'm inclined to doubt the level of 'friendship' there is between her and the owners - maybe she knows them to chat to in the shop or on the street, but does she really know them and socialise with them outside of buying takeaway? Maybe she does...
Even if the owners themselves are not upset by the word and use it themselves, it doesn't mean it's no longer racist. I mean think about it, would it be good for business or peaceful co-existence to call your customers on their (mostly unthinking, non-maliciously intended*) racism when the likelihood is it would simply arouse hostility? Could it be a case of picking your battles? Even if not, and the owners are genuinely unconcerned by the term and everybody in the town does think it's acceptable, outside of that social bubble, it can be used in a derogatory way - and, moreover, it can be avoided easily.
So change the wording: you're on a world stage when you're on the interwebz. Being wrong stings, but it seems to me fighting the rear-guard action of defensiveness and self-justification is harder work in the longer run.
* To be generous
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:36 am
> blogs/forums/t'internet, language, PC gone mad: the cry of the thwarted bigot, reading, thinkie-thinks 0 comments
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:56 am
I'm all weight-lifted-off-shouldersy today.
You see, the friend of this blog-post has been going through a bad time lately, living it out on Facebook. I felt I should show support, so I have messaged her and texted her to demonstrate said support. But of course she invited me over and I felt all argh and meh, and that I couldn't very well say no in her hour of need.
The kind of support I want to offer is purely practical, such as helping her move or giving her packing boxes - or emotional to a limited degree, such as sending best wishes and kind thoughts. Damn these people who won't stay in their boxes and respect my unspoken limits! Haha.
Anyways, I ended up going over (and again, it was a gathering of people I didn't know, apart from her. She had told me it was likely to be just the two of us).
During the course of the evening, however, I twigged on that her original invitation text had been mistakenly sent to me!
Such blesséd relief. I don't need to feel guilty or obligated. It stung a little at the time, but this morning I just feel so bloody happy! Skippety-hoppity hurrah.
Waffled by Mephitis at 2:07 pm
I had a minor epiphany today. Very minor.
Everyday the canteen boss gives me a cup of coffee for free, which is very kind. It used to be regular-sized, but of late he has taken to giving me the large size. And in the time I have to drink it, I really struggle to consume the whole thing, and doing so makes my stomach feel distended and uncomfortable.
Today, as I say, it suddenly occurred to me I don't have to finish it.
How liberating.
The guy is doing a nice thing for me, and I thank him as is right & proper - but I don't have to drink the whole thing. I didn't ask for the bigger size and it's really not going to worry him unduly if I don't drink it all, is it? By forcing myself to drink it all, it makes him think I want or need the bigger size, so he'll keep giving it, when I was perfectly happy with the smaller cup. D'oh.
It seemed ungrateful somehow not to drink it all, and sometimes I would sneak off to drain it into the sink before he saw the unfinished cup! But I think I was being a bit daft. It is daft.
Waffled by Mephitis at 1:29 pm
> drivel, forehead-slapping, possibly over-thinking the trivial 0 comments
I like the acknowledgement of the role Philpott's abuse of women had.
Waffled by Mephitis at 12:34 pm
"When people try to change behavior, they often focus on prescriptive norms, telling people what they should do. We often underestimate just how strongly we respond to what other people actually do.
In a classic study, Cialdini and colleagues manipulated the signs that were displayed in Arizona’s Petrified Forest National Park, a site often plagued by tourists who end up grabbing some of the petrified wood to take home as a souvenir. In situations like this, the first inclination of well-meaning environmentalists might be to set a strong prescriptive norm — perhaps by saying something like, “Many past visitors have removed the petrified wood from the park, changing the state of the Petrified Forest. This is bad, don’t do this.” The idea here would be to invoke a sense of shame and severity before asking visitors to refrain from taking the wood. But read that prescriptive message once again. Is there anything descriptive in there? Yes, of course there is. That message is not just telling you that you shouldn’t take the wood — it’s also telling you that most other people do. In fact, people were actually more likely to steal wood from the forest when they saw the sign telling them how many people tend to do it themselves, even though the very next sentence was asking them to refrain. But when the researchers simply tweaked the message to read that “the vast majority of past visitors have left the petrified wood in the park, helping to preserve the natural state of the Petrified Forest,” the thievery plummeted."
Waffled by Mephitis at 12:00 pm
> blogs/forums/t'internet, current events, facebook 2 comments
In my devotion to blogging, when I spotted dogs on the balcony again yesterday, I thought I would take a picture for illustrative purposes for my last post.
I took one quickly as I was on my way to work, and wended on my way. I heard a squawk behind me and looked back to see a woman pulling her dogs back into the flat, "Are you from the council?!"
Oops. I kept walking as I didn't see how to form the thought of taking a picture to illustrate my blog into a particularly coherent sentence that I could shout up effectively and felt it might be poorly received (rightly) if I could! Walking along I picked up pace a bit in case she should come running out demanding to know what I was up to.
I guess I probably messed with her head a bit. I feel bad about that. I wonder if she doesn't have permission for the dogs from the council, or if there have been complaints from neighbours, hence the leap to thoughts of the council. Maybe she's waiting for a knock on the door or a reprimanding letter now. Oh no.
I think I'm in the wrong of it, it can't be nice having your only outside space completely open to the view of the world. Is there an expectation of privacy, when your balcony is transparent and above a public road? Well, maybe not much of one - but I guess it's rude to stare up at the people using them/take pictures of their dogs. I hadn't really thought of it from the inside, just from an idle curiosity wandering past kind of way.
Waffled by Mephitis at 3:01 pm
Sometimes I walk past blocks of flats and there are dogs out on the balconies, and I wonder why.
Is it to get them out from under their owners' feet while they vacuum or something, or is it so the dogs can sun themselves and get fresh air?
I hope it's not so the dogs can relieve themselves - rank! Imagine living in the flat below. Ghastly. I hope that's not it.
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:38 pm
I have the urge to explain myself, but I don't think the recipient would find it edifying. So I'm unloading the reasons why here. I'm not being very transparent so perhaps I should explain.
A few years ago I made a friend - we initially met online but live close to each other and ending up seeing each other as friends in real life. We helped each other out.
Over the last year or so, however, I've found that it's not a friendship that makes me particularly happy - not because she's not nice or that she's not kind, but it doesn't really make me feel good. She often invites me to things, but it's always masses of people I don't know, never just a few, or mostly a crowd I'd met before. I'm not good in large social gatherings and she knows that: we've talked before about social awkwardness and shyness.
Bizarrely (to my eyes) she claims to find socialising difficult herself. Maybe internally it feels/is true to her, but from where I'm standing it looks like she loves to be in a social whirl of people. I can't believe she suffers the same frozen agonies that I experience.
If we do meet up 1-2-1, she always uses her phone or laptop a lot at the same time, and maybe that's old-fashioned of me, but I feel offended by it - well, not offended - but like I'm not interesting enough or fun to be around. Which may well be true.
So weighing it all up, stress vs pleasure in her company, I came to realise the former far outweighed the latter and have let things drift. It's perhaps a cowardly way out, but there's nothing to row about or confront really, just I don't feel we have much in common and that I'm there to make up the numbers rather than she really likes me.
And who needs that? I have already plenty of long-established reasons to doubt my own likeability/loveability.
But she evidently realised I've created distance and texted me recently inviting me to yet another thing with a jolly crew of campers, and asking if I was upset with her. I replied just saying that I'm rubbish at keeping in touch and there we've left it.
But the above is why.
Follow-up
Follow-up
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:19 am
A few links:
The IWD website
A fantastic world map of women's political rights in the Guardian: New Zealand gave women the right to vote in 1893 and other fascinating facts.
A celebration of Lily Parr at the F-Word, a First World War era female footballer. The FA banned women from play on their grounds as the war came to a close and men's football restarted: sport was damaging to women's health apparently! But Lily Parr was not deterred.
And a nice piece about the damsel in distress as appearing in video games from Feminist Frequency.
I need to add John Scalzi's piece about white male privilege, which I think explains so much of 'privilege' theory so elegantly: lowest difficulty setting.
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:17 pm
Driving today, I got stuck behind a van emblazoned with the legend 'Hydra Logistics'. I amused myself visualising a scene a la Percy Jackson, with a barely contained Hydra in the back...
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:15 pm
When walking the dog in the bitterly cold, I like going out on the more exposed path along the river-side, and then returning by the sheltered path behind the hedge. It makes the walk back feel warm in comparison, like I could sit out and have a picnic.
I like watching the skies. And cats. I went through all the photos on my laptop and realised I have many many folders labelled 'skies & cats'. The children crop up a lot too (I add hurriedly).
I like hot toasted sandwiches with chocolate spread and bananas.
I like the way that my DMs creak when I walk.
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:03 am
> animals, happy thought(s), little things, mad-cat-lady-blogging, weather 0 comments
It takes a special kind of mentality to sit there and moan about orange peel that you yourself dropped under the desk still being there, instead of picking the damned stuff up in the first place when it happened, or later when you noticed it again.
Your office has a cleaner, oh yes, so you suddenly lose the ability to pick up your own mess? Fingers suffering a bad case of fucking-lazyitis.
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:01 am
> bit narked, ffffff f--- you, hmmph, life - don't talk to me about life, petty base bully bullock bugger billies, rant 0 comments
Do you not think that it is rather lacking in taste for a story about a man accused of killing his girlfriend during a kinky sex session to have a link, saying "Thought the novel was racy? Wait until you try the 50 Shades of Grey workout!"
Just after the words "Nine days later, she was dead."
I will not link you to the online newspaper because I loathe it, but here's a screenshot.
Waffled by Mephitis at 4:37 pm
> forehead-slapping, I hate the Daily M--l, life - don't talk to me about life 0 comments
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:48 am
> feminism, music, petty base bully bullock bugger billies, rant, what I heard on the radio, yuk 0 comments
I got sent the urban myth:
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:07 am
> blogs/forums/t'internet, feminism, thinkie-thinks 1 comments
As I was locking up, waiting for the automatic doors to close after me, one of a bunch of young lads was intrigued.
"Do you live there?" says he.
"No, it's an office," say I.
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:47 pm
A Bloody Mary is a cocktail made with vodka, tomato juice, worcester sauce, tabasco and seasoning. The origin of the name is possibly based on Bloody Mary (Mary I), Bloody Mary of folklore, Mary Pickford or a waitress in Chicago.
A Virgin Mary is a non-alcoholic version of this, just as all non-alcoholic cocktails are commonly referred to as virgin.
Does it not seem reasonable then, to call a spicy tomato flavoured crisp, Virgin Mary?
Apparently not.
Pret a Manger have withdrawn the crisp after complaints from Catholics. Fair enough that they don't want to upset people, I wouldn't expect them to risk alienating customers over something so easily changed as a name of a crisp flavour.
But do Catholics commonly wander into bars and feel offended by mocktails?
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:47 pm
> atheism/religion, current events, forehead-slapping, the list of stuff I don't get, yikes 0 comments
I've been spending money on myself, which I don't usually do much of. Yesterday I went shopping for clothes, just for me, on my own. Usually shopping is inspired by the children's needs and my own are an add-on (often put back when mental arithmetic says ouch). But I got a couple of skirts & tops and got the children nothing!
And today, I chose 2 books from the charity shop. One is a Georgette Heyer I've never read: Black Sheep. Yay. The other is Dawkins' Ancestor's Tale. At a 120p all in, you can't go wrong.
Waffled by Mephitis at 8:45 pm
After a while unemployed, the Other Half has got a new job. This is good news, of course.
It's going to be interesting, as this is the first time we've both had full-time jobs at the same time. It has usually been me as stay-at-home parent or working part-time, although the past year he's been at home or picking up casual p/t work when he could.
Other people do it, so juggling house-work and child-care must be possible. It looks pretty complex. Really I need to be looking to change what I'm doing as I work into the evening - and his job is likely to be 'unsociable hours' and jump around, being hospitality.
But I want a different job anyway, so it's time to start looking in earnest. My ideal would be the standard 9 to 5. Dry your eyes, Dolly - it's much maligned.
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:21 am
I recently read the Changeling by AE van Vogt. I know I've read it before, but I had no memory of doing so. Usually part-way through a book will start feeling familiar on a re-read for me, but not this time. The blurb on the back of the novel is completely misleading and sounds like it's about a different book.
It was a curious tale of a man with toti-potent cells, which means he can regenerate limbs and recover from usually fatal injuries. He is a person of interest to science and to politicians, notably to an aspiring dictator, the US president. One of the downsides of his remarkable ability is losing his memory, however, and in this vulnerable state he is ripe for exploitation.
I enjoyed the novel overall, but found the depiction of women bizarre. In the world of the text, some women have chosen to be 'equalised' with men. It's not altogether clear to me what exactly this drug supposedly did - increased muscle mass? The primary difference between an equalised woman and a normal woman is apparently a brightness of eye. #Raised eyebrow#
The equalised women are a gun-wielding private army for the president who has taken them under his wing since no-one else will employ them, normal women hate them and "no man will marry them". #Howls of derisive laughter, mate#
So yes, er, um... I wasn't sure whether the intention was to be funny or whether it was just a product of its time (1967). My reading of it is that there is an underlying assumption was that women in political power is inherently dangerous: Vogt didn't need to explain what those dangers were to his audience of the time, because it would be a natural way of thinking to them.
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:19 am
We recently went to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which is touring in its "40th anniversary party" incarnation.
I really like the show and we've been a few times over the years. But it does have some problems that sometimes make me wonder about my enjoyment. I recently read this piece about liking the problematic, and I figured I would take some time to think aloud, as it were, about Rocky Horror.
What do I like about it? Well, it's the taking of the B-movie standards and playing with them - the conscious hat-tips to '50s horror and sci-fi films: the spooky old castle randomly occurring in small-town USA, the silver tunics and ray-guns, the apple-pie conservative couple suddenly plunged into peril. It takes genres I love and has fun with them.
Plus it's a musical with some great catchy songs. There's a lot to like in that.
I also like the transgressive sexuality and the way it turns the male form into the primary object of desire and subject of the audience's gaze. A man in conventionally female underwear: basque, suspenders & stockings is hot, not ridiculous. Or certainly not when played by Oliver Thornton. Rowf. Frank adopts the uber-'feminine' poses of seduction/glamour models and there's humour in that, but it's not against him.
And what's not to love about a man in such garb, plus white coat, running around with a chain-saw?
For me, the most problematic part of Rocky Horror, are the rape scenes. As a fan it's hard to say the r word, but there's no real way round it. It's not seduction, because Franknfurter creeps into Janet's bed, pretending to be Brad, and has sex with her - and later does the same in reverse with Brad. He then persuades each of them respectively that they enjoyed it and they have sex again willingly.
It may also be a LGBT issue that the transgressor, bisexual transvestite Franknfurter, is a voracious sexual predator, who ends up dead in the end. This resonates to me of horror story tropes where the sexually active teens are always the first to die. Obviously Franknfurter, as a murderer and rapist, is not the same and may deserve his fate, but he is the sexual boundary breaker - so it's an interesting one. It's strange how likeable the character is, despite or perhaps because, of his arrogance and amorality. He's a bit of a tragic figure, because he isn't really capable of love, yet he is much-loved, even by those he betrays and abuses. His exuberance and vitality drive the story.
It's a whole lot of fun to watch 'though and the audience participation & dressing-up makes it an experience.
Waffled by Mephitis at 9:09 pm
Walking home from work, an inebriated bloke who was putting his rubbish out, asked me if I wanted to party. I just said "No, thanks" and walked on. That was fine, wasn't worried, as I thought, but ..
I nearly jumped out of my skin when there was a loud exhalation behind my shoulder a moment later.
It was just a runner. But unfortunate timing.
I blame my mother, she was telling me off for the way I wore my scarf the other day, said someone could strangle me with it...
Waffled by Mephitis at 8:55 pm
I'm mildly annoyed by my bottle of Herbal Essences Uplifting Volume. I bought it because it is a nice orange colour to match in with the bathroom. (Yes, I choose my grooming products through colour. And yes, we have an orange bathroom. It used to be a rather cold purple from the previous inhabitants, and we wanted something sunny.)
But, as you use it, you discover the plastic bottle is pink and the shampoo itself is yellow! Pink.
That's not orange!
Is this a big issue worth writing about? No Yes of course. Shut up. #mutters#
Waffled by Mephitis at 11:16 am
> drivel, forehead-slapping, life - don't talk to me about life, little things 1 comments
Today I thought I would pick one of my bookshelves at random, take a picture and then gibber on about what is there. So without further ado:
Waffled by Mephitis at 10:28 am
I read 46 books last year, quite a few of them re-reads. My usual time for reading is in bed in the evening or in the mornings when I can get a lie-in at the weekend, so how much I read suffered a bit with a change in lifestyle with the other half being home in the evenings. I didn't really do much by the way of different authors or genres. I don't have any targets in mind for this year, at the moment. Previous reading records are 2012 2011 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006
January
Green Mars / Kim Stanley Robinson
Blue Mars / Kim Stanley Robinson
The Changeling / AE van Vogt - re-read
Rage / Stephen King (Richard Bachmann) - re-read
February
Black Sheep / Georgette Heyer
March
The Fry Chronicles / Stephen Fry - audio book
The Liar / Stephen Fry - re-read
April
Mistakes were Made (but not by Me) / Carol Tavris & Elliot Aronson - audio book
Daggerspell / Katherine Kerr - re-read
Missing Pieces / Joy Fielding - re-read
The Ancestor's Tale / Richard Dawkins
May
Why be happy when you could be normal? / Jeannette Winterson - audio book
Driver / Taiye Selasi - short story on audio
The Family Portrait / Jon Ronson - 4 short stories on audio
June
Dreams from my Father / Barack Obama
Sleepyhead / Mark Billingham
The Female Eunuch /Germaine Greer
Burning Girl / Mark Billingham
Lifeless / Mark Billingham
Buried / Mark Billingham
Death Message / Mark Billingham
July
Living Dolls / Natasha Walter - audio book
At Home / Bill Bryson
August
World War Z / Max Brooks - audio book
The Hunger Games / Suzanne Collins
September
The Scarecrow / Michael Connelly
The Drop / Michael Connelly
Bad Pharma / Ben Goldacre
October
The Ethical Slut / Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy - audio-book
November
Another World / Pat Barker
Magic Bites / Ilona Andrews - audio-book
L is for Lawless / Sue Grafton
V is for Vengeance / Sue Grafton
Maddadam / Margaret Atwood
December
Hyperbole & a half / Allie Brosh
Magic Burns / Ilona Andrews - audio-book
Raising Steam / Terry Pratchett
Waffled by Mephitis at 4:23 pm
So, 2013, eh?
2012 was not a good blogging year for me - posting was sporadic. I do not know if this year will be better on that score, but we shall see. I do like blogging and I have been keeping this one for several years now, so it'd be sad not to keep going.
2012 wasn't a good year in some other respects, but on the bright side I got a new job. It isn't the best job ever, I wouldn't say I enjoy it, and I'm not sure it has the potential to lead anywhere better in that company after all - but it was a big boost to get it and it does keep our boat afloat.
It may be more pleasant now that a moaning colleague has left. I quite liked the guy, but everyday he would whinge about the job and every other week he would threaten to resign. It's kind of fun to have a good old moan about things sometimes, but it also started off every working day on a resentful, negative note. At least once a week I'd be crying at some point during the day, feeling disheartened & frustrated, often because he was the 'squeaky wheel' who always got the grease while I was sidelined. His leaving actually brought the line managers out of the woodwork to check in with me and be encouraging to me, so there's that as a benefit.
But I'd like to have a better job, so I will keep looking.
Other than that, I really want to be in shape for when I'm 40 later this year. I'm tired of not particularly liking what I look like and I am getting older, so being over-weight will begin to pose more health problems. It's a cliche of a resolution, but bah. Needs to be done.
Here's to a happy, fit 2013 for all.
Waffled by Mephitis at 4:22 pm