The chill
I am still with a chill of heart
I want to shrivel
withdraw into the warmth of numbness
into the calm of absence.
Don't bring me back to you
where I need to think and move and care.
I want to eat, to crunch, to taste,
to feel that comforting filling
soft, sweetness and texture
But I mustn't.
And I don't.
I wish I could sink inside
somewhere out of sight.
Here I am
with voices
and motion all around
and it shreds me thin.
I sit dulled and static
I long for sleep and silence,
the dissolve of self.
I will be better when
I force myself up
and get started
I know I will.
I always am.
So go on then.
So GO ON then.
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